I thought I was attending a fashion show with my sister-in-law but it turned into a girl’s day. First, we went to Pillar Cuban Eatery (the Cuban nachos are 🔥). Then, we got our nails done at ShesPolished because I insisted on going to a black-owned nail salon. Finally, after much procrastination we arrived at the “fashion show” sk. ArtSpace. (The space is owned by 3 women of color and was opened on my birthday, June 16. Shola chose this space because of it).

Upon entering the venue, we were greeted by a Black woman (one of the co-owners) wearing a shirt that said, “The Future is Female“ (Shola requested that she wear it). She walked me through an art exhibit called, “Love has no Rules“. The art gallery featured canvas paintings of hearts in various sizes, colors, and design. I was in the moment so it didn’t click what was happening. But, if I’m being honest, I knew for weeks. After so many years of knowing someone its hard to keep a secret from them. It’s especially hard to keep a secret from me because I’m nosy AND intuitive. She led us downstairs to a second room and BAM I was surrounded by photos of us, our friends, and family.

For context, Shola and I were together before he was a professional photographer. Actually, my sister Delilah (also a photographer) inspired Shola to pursue photography beyond a hobby. When we couldn’t be at our parents house, we hung out at Delilah’s. It was there that he and Delilah talked about the art of photography while playing with her lens. The significance of a photo exhibit as a surprise engagement was representative of our history and Shola speaks to me through his photography.

After walking down memory lane, I was led to the 3rd room, the backyard. As nosy as I am, I did not expect to see 50 of our friends and family waiting quietly behind that door.

Here you all can see faces, but at the time, all I could see were flashing lights. I walked slowly, looking through the crowd trying to take in familiar faces. It was beautiful to feel everyone’s energy because it was dead silent. I absolutely love surprises and grand gestures like this so it felt good to just take it in.

Shola was standing in between our moms in front of a flower decorated white backdrop (aka our shower curtain 😉). There were candles and roses leading up to him and a couple bouquets behind him. And some of our loved ones held candles. It was seeing him that made me emotional.

I was impressed with our loved ones ability to keep this big secret. The 50 or so folks in the background does not account for the people who showed up afterwards. I was especially impressed with my friends who I had been crying and complaining the past few weeks.

I won’t even front like I didn’t have to go through my own healing. I once felt like marriage would validate me. I believe I had to unpack alll that baggage- believing I wasn’t enough because I wasn’t married, before the proposal could actually happen. I said that to say, I was boohooing to my friends, in person and they didn’t give one hint that Shola was planning this. I applaud their poker faces 😎 and their ability to listen then smoothly curve the conversation without me noticing 👏, ya are reall niggas 😂. My hat goes off to you ladies 👒.

To be honest, Shola could've said anything and I probably would've cried anyway. But the moment he got on one knee, I just couldn’t… I’m pretty sure I forgot to say yes because that seemed like an obvious answer. I barely got a nod before our family responded for me. But I did manage to whisper a yes at some point. In this moment, I was filled with joy as well as the joy of our community.

A friend of ours said, “the village has been waiting”- and I really felt that. I’m feeling all the emotions and I’ve been on cloud nine ever since. I have also been overwhelmed with joy and overflowing with love. It’s been a little over 6 weeks of the dust settling and here’s how I feel: 

1. I’m eager to change my last name to Bashorun (my fiance’s last name). Once upon a time I was reluctant to change my last name, almost resentful. I thought changing my last name meant that I was losing something; my identity, family, or individuality. Today, I see the change as me gaining something: a life partner, siblings, a new family.   

2. Recently a friend joked about “married life” not slowing us down. Our Thanksgiving festivities have been eventful, we hosted/cooked on Thanksgiving Day (lol well I cooked), we went out dancing Friday into Saturday morning, and attended a Friends-giving. I feel like it’s ignited something in us, a drive to live life.

3. I feel (more) protective of my partner. Not in a motherly way but in a “sis, don’t speak bad on my man type of way” 😏

From here, I’ll allow the photos to do the rest of the talking.

Fun Fact: I threw Shola a surprise party for his 25th birthday.

I have never wanted to marry someone more. As a young girl, I daydreamed about building my own home, not having a wedding. But this man makes me look forward to all the hoopla of marriage and then some. But if I’m being honest, I’ve imagined (at least twice a year for the last 5 years) how Shola was going to propose which has been painful to say the least. Our relationship has not been perfect or steady for that matter but I still wouldn’t change anything about our journey. I cannot share my proposal story without adding the other side, our relationship leading up to this point is beautiful as a whole. I’m ok with the dark parts because of that.

I hope my surprise engagement gave you as much joy as it gave me.

With Love,

Rebekah Love