God is Love

God is Love 

I was having a bad day. 

I was disgusted with myself and everything around me. It began with this eventually that became a shitstorm of self destructive knit picking. I picked and prodded at my being as I slowly hated myself for my minuscule mistakes. 

I was having a bad day. 

I was a wreck, an emotional roller-coaster. 

I was having a bad day.

So my flesh turned to the only thing I knew, O. O was my human support. He was my love on earth. He was the support my flesh needed. As I spoke of my day and tried to convince him that I was the stupidest woman alive. He was unmoved, not convinced, comfortable, and loving. His eyes never showed any sign that he believed or agreed with me. His patience with my own impatience confused my hateful thoughts. I wanted to be mad myself l, but his love knocked me back to life. His love and understanding brought me to my knees. It was when I looked into his eyes that I realized I wasn’t dealing with his love. It was my spirit that told me that I was looking at God’s love. He spoke through him because he knew that is where I would see him. The idea that someone could love me at a moment I hated myself was so profound it brought me to tears. 

To see and understand God’s love through man, even the slightest was a blessing. 

If I could get even a little of that type of love, I could change the world. I thought I knew love, but I didn’t know a thing until God showed himself to me. He clearly differentiated himself from the love that I knew. And it’s nothing. His love is moving, heat stopping, and advanced.

I felt more vulnerable and open in that moment than I have in my entire life. I was stripped naked and I was loved in my rawest form. I was blessed the night I seen God’s love.

-Rebekah Christie: April 20, 2014