The Butterfly Link

My hands are shaking and I don’t know if it’s because I’m hungry. My stomach is empty but I don’t know if it’s because I’m weary. I’m hot but I don’t know if it’s the heat. My head is spinning and I don’t know if it’s because of this deep sleep. My eyes are wide open but my lids are heavy. 

I’m having a physical reaction to my metamorphism. I feel it at the same time every year and I’m blessed. But it’s the most uncomfortable feeling. It tops the worst type of growing pains. It’s the type of bodily reactions I wonder if everyone feels. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t focus on my thoughts. My mind is racing. My heart is an emotional roller coaster. One minute I have a surge of enthusiasm, happiness, and self-confidence. The next minute I can experience deep saddest, low confidence, or self-doubt. It’s draining. 

But at this time I feel deeply for the devil because he’s witnessing me as I emerge into a new woman. He’s doing everything in his power to break that down and I truly feel for him. 

I know closing out 2014 will be the most amazing December. There will be glorious triumphs and spectacular milestones. I feel grateful, inspired, blessed, and appreciative. 

-Rebekah Christie: December 1, 2014