The Love Between My Sisters Is The Answer to My(Our) Prayers
I find myself debating what is and isn't appropriate to share on my blog. The right question or what I'm really in conflict with, isn't what's appropriate for MY blog. The real question is how I'm scared of being judged and criticized for what I share. I then came to the conclusion that I cannot answer the question from fear. I share that because despite my fears I can't let them stop me.The first draft I created with these photos, I cropped out my apartment's background, eventually deleting the draft altogether. From my very first post, I made a promise to be authentic. If I can't do anything, I'm good for transparency. So here it is:
My sisters and I, pictured above, grew up close. We spent New Years Eve celebrating my sister Elizabeth's 30th birthday (red dress). We have this magical relationship that can be seen and felt from far and wide. My father urged us to access it and draw from our connection. We felt/feel it too. However, it hasn't been easy to take advantage of it. We're grown, with our own lives, relationships, goals, and big dreams for ourselves and our family. Its been a journey to come to realize that what we have is special and our love alone is transformative.
Even today, our collective energy is recognized and loved ones are just waiting for us to see it too. Apparently, we're the next Braxton's. I personally see way more for us than a television show, but I get the picture. Then, there's our individual spirit, we're reflections of one another, better versions of ourselves, with enough creativity and talent to last a lifetime. So what's the issue right? Why aren't we rich yet?
Timing is key. My sisters and I have been engrained with this wisdom but not yet the tools to apply it. Its like understanding a language but not knowing how to speak it yourself. On New Years day we began to understand beyond our sister language and evolve to fluency. We're learning to speak it, write it, and read it. The process has been painful yet precious.
Its the type of pain you feel post gym workout or during therapy. Its the good type of pain. We're putting the work in to build the foundation to sustain our magic. We're prioritizing one another and in that prioritizing ourselves. Its one of the most invigorating, tender, frustrating, and exciting projects I've taken on. Describing this journey with my sisters as a project may seem weird, but it is. Its a project because it consist of tangible/intangible work, emotional/mental/spiritual labor, time, money, and energy. Its a life project that I'm committed to taking seriously, nonetheless, this jawn is a project.
I'm filled with more patience, love, and compassion imaginable. When I talk to my sisters, I feel this strength which spreads to other areas of my life. This is also an incentive to push through in my own struggles. I feel more accountable for myself, others, and my responsibilities. Even through the ups/downs, the risks/outcomes, there's already rewards.
What I want for my sisters, right now, is in the present, its in our journey. What we do today is getting us closer to that. I appreciate them more just by virtue of a conversation. I find gratitude in the little things, even in an argument. I feel grateful that I (we) have the opportunity to do the work again and its not "too late".
Since I can remember, I prayed for patience I prayed that I'm patient with myself. My sisters are helping me move closer and closer to that. They're the answer to many of my prayers, and that's just one of them.